Dexter tries to Make a Man Out of Everyone
by Ways
Summary: After a horrible training exercise that all of the heroes failed, Dexter proceeds to tell them how pathetically then did it. And what better way to do it than breaking out into song?


**So this is an idea I got because I love this song and I could totally see this happen in the Fusionfall Universe. So I hope you enjoy this.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Fusionfall or Mulan. If I did, no one would let me actually make this idea a real thing.**

 **Dexter Tries to Make a Man Out of Everyone**

Dexter was looking over several of the heroes of the Cartoon Network Universe. There was Ben, there was Samurai Jack, Numbuh 1, Mandy, even Mojo and Father too.

Dexter just shook his head as he marched down the line of heroes, each of which were looking a mix of tired or angered at the boy genius, except for Jack who rarely showed emotion.

"Unacceptable! Unacceptable!" The boy genius announced. "How do any of you expect to beat Fuse if you cannot even forgo the simplest of training?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE TRAINING IS IMPOSSIBLE!" Ben shouted.

Others let out several shouts at him, some of them swears.

"It was not impossible!" Dexter corrected them. "Even my monkey could do it!"

"I take offence to that!" Mojo, Jake Spidermonkey and Lazlo said together.

"Just because your stupid super powered monkey could get through it, doesn't mean the rest of us can." Mandy glared at him.

Dexter just sighed. "Let me explain to you where it all went wrong…"

And with that Dexter began telling the story about how they were all failures…

 ***Flashback***

Dexter stood in front of the heroes decked out in cameo pants and a green muscle shirt. While this would normally make Blossom swoon; she and the other heroes were not amused with Dexter calling so many of them out at such an early hour.

"Alright, so it's very simple!" Dexter stated. "Here is my obstacle course, go through it and you prove to me that we stand against Lord Fuse."

"An obstacle course?" Ben asked. "Seriously, that's what you called us all out here for?"

"Yes." Dexter nodded. "Now do it, or so help me, you will all suffer."

Everyone groaned and got to work on it.

Everyone failed.

Mandy was strung up against a flagpole hanging by the back of her dress; Johnny Test had a foot stuck between two rocks; Samurai Jack remained sitting in front of a certain obstacle, not even bothering to try it; and the worst was Ben who somehow was lying on the floor in front of him.

Dexter just sighed. "We have a lot of work to do…"

He then walked away from everyone and turned back to them, finger wagging in their faces.

Suddenly Dexter gained a deep singing voice and started.

 _Let's get down to business! To defeat, those spawns!_

He then went to Mandy and slammed his foot against the flagpole, knocking her down. Then there was Johnny Test who he pushed the rock away from. He just shook his head as he passed by Jack and when he finally got to Ben and pulled out an air horn which he blew in the omnitrix wielder's face.

 _I have been sent weaklings!_

He just shook his head as he passed by Mac who was panting as he tried to push a boulder.

 _When I asked for champs!_

He just pinched the ridge of his nose once more.

 _You're the saddest bunch I've ever met…._

He looked to Bloo and Numbuh 2 who were leaning against each other and sighed.

 _You can bet before we're through,_

He then walked up to Ben once again and brought him to his feet.

 _Somehow I'll…_

He glared at Ben, getting into the hero's face.

 _Make a man,_

Ben gave him a bit of a sheepish grin at that one.

 _Out of you…_

He slapped Ben and walked away.

Blossom was the one to point this out. "Um… A lot of us are women and-"

Dexter ignored her and moved onto the next line.

They moved from where they were inside Dex Labs to the Wilds, specifically Camp Kidney.

 _Tranquil as the forest,_

Dexter commanded them to fight some of the Wild Stingers in the area.

Numbuh 5's PHLAZZER shot whizzed past it, Lance's Null Void shot was unable to make contact with it and then there was Courage who couldn't even hold his gun correctly.

 _But a rage within!_

Dexter snatched the gun away from the small dog.

 _Once you stop with nonsense!_

Dexter wasn't happy with Gwen, Juniper, Darwin and Blossom who were meditating on the grass.

 _You will surely win._

He pulled out a megaphone and shouted at them, they were quick to scramble up from where they were sitting and got back to work.

 _You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot._

Buttercup, Rex and Mandy looked as if they were about to beat up the boy genius as he marched past them.

 _And you haven't got a clue._

Dexter then proceeded to put a 'DUNCE' hat which he put on Mandark's head. The evil genius crossed his arms and scowled in response.

 _Somehow I'll…_

He was back in DexLabs now, Computress following after with her electronic clipboard.

 _Make a man…_

He looked at all of them and shrugged.

 _OUT OF YOU!_

He pointed at all of them.

Ben was the next to sing.

 _I'm never gonna catch my breath…_

He ran out of a flash of green light, his hands on his knees, panting heavily.

Buttercup sang the next part.

 _Say goodbye to those who knew me._

And with that she walked away from the scene, moments later she came back as Belladonna, not having a clue what was going on.

Gumball and Adam Lion sang the next part together.

 _Why were we fools in school for cutting gym._

They tried to help each other climb over a wall, Adam was cupping his hands to try and help the cat over, but they just couldn't do it.

Marceline was floating by the group, hovering as if she were reclining on a chair.

"This guy's got 'em scared to death." Marcy shrugged.

Grim frowned. "That's my job!"

Belladonna then covered her face and added.

 _Hope he doesn't see right through me!_

Johnny Test was swimming in the clear waters of Orchid Bay. He then sang,

 _Man I really wish that I knew how to swim!_

And with that he began to drown to which Dukey came diving into the ocean after him.

Dexter then had several of the smaller characters in front of canons. Each of them had them pointed at target's Dexter had set up.

Together they all sang,

 _Be a man…_

Dexter pointed off and one by one they fired at the targets. First Flapjack, then Mac, Jimmy, Jonny 2x4, Billy, Bloo.

Dexter then sang to them as marching once again.

 _You must be swift as the coursing river!_

They missed each and every one of their targets.

 _Be a man…_

Dexter wasn't amused, but he hadn't seen the worst of the shots yet.

 _With all the force of a great typhoon._

Bloo was lazy and wasn't doing anything.

 _Be a man…_

Dexter came over and started yelling at the blue imaginary friend.

 _With all the strength of a raging fire!_

Bloo accidentally leaned against the cannon, causing it to fire and meet its mark: a Dexbot.

Bloo gave a sheepish grin at that.

 _More mysterious than the dark side of the mooooooooon!_

The boy genius pinched the ridge of his nose once more and looked up into the moonlit sky.

 _Time is racing towards us,_

Dexter was looking at his wrist watch as he timed several of the heroes running track.

 _Till Fuse takes reign!_

Dexter watched Ben trip and just groaned.

 _Heed my every order,_

Dexter grabbed the boy's face and glared him down to which the brunette chuckled.

 _And there will be less pain!_

 ***End Flashback***

Dexter continued marching down the line of people, he continued to sing only now that it was out of his dream, it wasn't quite as good.

A lot of the heroes looked at him confusedly while Mordecai and Rigby proceeded to make fun of him.

 _None of you are suited for, the rage of war. So leave my presence, I'm done with you. How could I make a man out of you?_

Nobody was really bothered by what was going on they were just confused as to why Dexter was singing.

But with that, Dexter left the premises.

Jack just shook his head and with that, he completed Dexter's obstacle course with ease.

 _Be a man!_

 _You must be swift as a coursing river!_

Jack weaved left and right between laser blasts.

 _Be a man!_

"Hey look at Jack go!" Ben cheered.

Everyone took notice of this and started to cheer for him.

 _With all the force of a great typhoon!_

Jack shoved away a rock that was blocking his path.

 _Be a man!_

DeeDee rushed out of the room to go find her brother.

"Dexter, Dexter come look!" She pleaded with him.

"Not now, Dee Dee…"

But the girl dragged her brother along.

 _You must have the strength of a raging fire!_

Jack then jabbed his sword into one of the robots that Dexter had set up at the end of the course, pushing it away as it was set ablaze.

Dexter then was pushed in by Dee Dee, his jaw dropped when he saw everyone cheering.

 _More mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

And with that, Jack sheathed his blade as the guardian robot exploded behind him.

Everyone cheered and with that Dexter smirked. They were going to give things one more try.

 _Be a man!_

Mandy effortlessly climbed the flagpole now.

 _You must be swift as the coursing river!_

Johnny Test managed to avoid the rock and make his way along.

 _Be a man!_

Numbuh 5, Lance and Courage fired on the monsters without missing a beat.

 _Must have the force of a great typhoon!_

Johnny Test swam through the ocean, Dukey swimming along next to him.

 _Be a man!_

Adam and Gumball each made it over the climbing wall and high fived each other on top of it.

 _Must have the strength of a raging fire!_

All of them fired on their targets, even Bloo.

 _More mysterious than the dark side of the moon!_

Everyone cheered within DexLabs.

"Wait a minute… Wait a minute…" Mandark shouted.

Everyone looked to him.

"What was the point of that, we just worked out to montage music?"

People stopped and thought about that. It was true, they did absolutely nothing and wasted a lot of wartime.

All of them gave their murmurs of agreement to Mandark's statement. Not quite sure what to do next, the group disbanded. But at least everyone was twice as manly.

 **And that was Dexter tries to make a man out of everyone. That was originally supposed to be for comedic purposes but I don't know what happened. I'm not sure whether to call this serious or not. But y'know the drill,  
Read and Review.**


End file.
